What Is Resentment?
A unpleasant emotional response to being treated unfairly is called resentment. Although there isn’t just one reason why someone becomes resentful, in the majority of instances there is a nagging feeling that someone has treated them unfairly or wrongly.
It’s typical to experience frustration and disappointment in life. Resentment can be caused by feelings that become too intense. When this takes place, relationships suffer, and often never recover, the loss of trust and affection.
Anger, disappointment, bitterness, and other complicated emotions are frequently experienced by someone who is carrying resentment.
Resentment is frequently brought on by:
- Relationships with those who insist on always being correct
- Being exploited by someone else
- Feeling depressed
- Unrealistic assumptions about other people
- Being unheard
- Interactions with persistently late individuals
Signs of Resentment
Resentment makes it difficult to forgive or let go, at least temporarily. But, there are a few indicators that you or someone you know may be headed for excessive resentment.
The following are some symptoms and warning indicators to look out for:
- Consistently negative emotions
- Inability to Put the Incident Out of Your Mind
- Fear or avoidance Emotions of regret or remorse
- Relationship in Conflict Feeling Ignored or Inadequate
- Having trouble letting go of resentment
How to overcome resentment?
There are many reasons you could feel resentment toward someone; they may have wounded you in the past, you may believe they have taken advantage of you, or you may be jealous of them because they possess some of the things you desire. Holding onto resentment and hate toward another person, though, can truly start to consume you.
The good news is that if you’re ready to put in the effort, you can begin to process those emotions in a way that’s healthier for you, and you might even discover that you’re able to accept the past and forgive the other person.
- Embrace and experience your feelings
Instead of suppressing your emotions, give yourself permission to feel them. Give yourself permission to truly feel your unpleasant feelings, such as rage, rejection, disappointment, jealously, or hurt. Pushing those emotions away will just make them accumulate inside of you, which is what ultimately results in bitterness. On the other side, it’s simpler to let go of those sensations once you’ve allowed yourself to feel them.
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Think on the causes of your resentment
When someone clearly injured you in the past, for example, the source of your resentment may be obvious. Sometimes it’s a little more difficult to determine what’s truly troubling you; your anger may have grown stronger over time, or you may feel resentment toward someone because they possess something you desire. Before you can begin to resolve the issue, it’s critical to ascertain its core.
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Create a strategy for the future
Sometimes, how you respond to a situation can make you feel even more resentful. For instance, if someone made fun of you or didn’t stand by you, you might feel like you ought to have stood up for yourself. Have a strategy for how you will handle circumstances like that in the future rather than beating yourself up over what you didn’t accomplish. Not only will this prevent further resentment in the future, but being proactive may also enable you to let go of some of the emotions you’re currently clinging to.
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Stopping negative ideas in their tracks is important.
It’s normal to continually bring up prior hurts in your mind because resentment is typically based on past events. Remind yourself to focus on something else, such as what is occurring right now or what you can do to prevent that circumstance from occurring in the future, if you notice that this is happening. Changing your thought patterns might be extremely difficult, especially in the heat of the moment, but persist at it—with experience, it becomes easier.
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Put your emotions in writing
You may truly get to the heart of your resentment through writing, which is a terrific method to organize your thoughts. Write down your ideas as they occur to you without worrying about getting them down in the right sequence. Write about your reasons for having a grudge against someone, how it affects you today, and any instances from your past that make this grudge particularly painful.
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Share your innermost thoughts with someone.
Discuss your resentment in detail; express how it made you feel and the reasons it still bothers you. You’ll not only feel better once you’ve expressed your feelings, but talking it out might also enable you to view the situation from a fresh perspective.
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Look for healthy ways to let your feelings out
While allowing yourself to experience your emotions is crucial, it’s also beneficial to let them go afterward. So, they won’t fester and develop into long-lasting resentment.
- Exercise by going for a walk, run, hike, or engaging in a sport you like.
- Physical relaxation techniques include gradual relaxation, yoga, and mindful breathing.
- Praying or meditating
- Social activism
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Consult a mental health specialist or a top online counselor
If you are unable to forgive and let go, speak with a therapist. It’s like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die when you hold resentment. That poison might cause you to become increasingly agitated, anxious, and sad if you don’t deal with it. It might even begin to have an impact on your other relationships. You can start to move on by learning coping mechanisms from a qualified mental health practitioner.
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